“God, You are my God; I eagerly seek You. I thirst for You; my body faints for You in a land that is dry, desolate and without water.”
You can’t fake desperation. I so remember the times on my face — sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively — praying for God to make His way clear:
committing my life to full-time Christian service, deciding what to study in college; if Joe was the right man for me; through eight years of infertility; through the premature births and deaths of our first three children; my pregnancy with Lauren; moving overseas as international Christian workers; Alli’s adoption.
through my kids’ preschool, elementary, middle, high school and now college years; seeking ministries where I could make God known in the Philippines, South Korea and Thailand; returning to the U.S.; accepting a job; buying a house …
and on and on and on.
“Lord, don’t leave me alone until we are where You want us to be,” I’ve prayed more times than I can count, seeking to know God’s will.
And I’ve been asked more times than I can count: How can I know God’s will for my life?
But what if it isn’t about “knowing God’s will,” a friend noted just yesterday in a conversation over coffee.
For the past two years, I’ve been trying to figure out what God wants me to do, I lamented. I’ve explored different ministries, trying to go beyond the church walls, but nothing seems to fit.
“What if it isn’t about knowing God’s will?” my friend said. “What if it’s just about knowing God?”
How easily we forget that simple lesson in our quest for personal significance: God reveals Himself most clearly when we are desperately seeking Him — rather than what we can do for Him.
And sometimes, He isn’t calling us to “minister.” Sometimes, He is just calling us to “be” — a wife, a parent, a daughter, a neighbor, a friend. No fanfare. No stage. Just knowing Him in the day-to-day with none of the confusion and anxiety that comes from trying to “figure it out.”
“Abide in me, and I will abide in you,” Jesus said in John 15:4. Then we will bear fruit.
If we are going to be desperate, let’s be desperate to know Him. As we seek Him — waiting, watching and listening — opportunities to serve Him will come. Sometimes those opportunities involve proclaiming the gospel loudly, influencing large numbers of people. Sometimes those opportunities mean standing quietly alongside a friend who is struggling, praying with her through the hurt and the sin and the mess.
God simply asks us to be obedient — to know Him — right where we are.
This week’s reading: 1 Samuel 25-31, 2 Samuel 1-4, Psalm 6, 8-10, 14, 16-19, 21, 35, 54, 56, 63, 120-121, 123-125, 128-130, 140-142,
Post #16: Discovering how to live missionally through a chronological reading of God’s Word